View from the Couch

I'm not really good at resolutions and there a plethora of reasons why.  I am my own worst enemy and giving myself a list of things to fail at is just asking for me to fail.  But I've tried very hard to cleanse myself of negative thoughts and energy.  So instead of resolutions...here are 10 Noble Pursuits for me in 2010. 1.  How can I create more abundance in my life?  The universe has been very good to me.  I have a lovely little apartment that suits me to a tee.  I have a good job, nice clothes, good food and wine.  I have a little money for entertainment and travel.  I am blessed.  But there are indeed times when I feel a lack and don't treat myself as well as I deserve because I'm not feeling abundant.  So I invite the possibility of abundance into my life. 2.  Respect - I hold others in very high esteem, give them a break and send them love and blessing whenever they cross my mind.  At least most of the time....

It's been a very hectic month for me.  I got very sick right after Thanksgiving and was barely able to hold my head up, let alone sit at a computer for long.  Got back to work last week and was good for the work day, but still pretty tired when I got home.  At long last this week, I started to feel like myself.  Then yesterday afternoon, my sister called me.  Our mother has died.  Not unexpected, but still a bit of a blow.  She lived nearly 92 years, her birthday is January 16th.  So in the interest of remembering my mother and returning to regular blogging, I present Random Thoughts about My Mother. Mildred Irene Wallock Watt.  My mother was born in January 1918...just before the end of WWI.  Los Angeles was a different place then, a collection of small towns, some manufacturing, some agriculture, some business.  Her father moved his family there when the film industry was locating there because the sunshine and variety of landsc...

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep I count my blessing instead of sheep Then I fall asleep counting my blessings." - Irving Berlin I love that song.  It's almost time for me to watch WHITE CHRISTMAS again and get tears in my eyes when Rosemary Clooney sings about love that didn't do right by her and Bing reminds us all to count our blessings.  It's that time of year where we try to remember to be grateful - and to remember to tell those we love how very important they are to us.  I am especially grateful this year.  It has been a good year for me - lots of growth and change and plenty to be grateful for. 1) My daughters.  Being a good mother is the most important thing to me.  For me, that means working at my relationships with my daughters.  Treasuring who they are and what matters to them.  Championing their victories and helping them back up when life knocks them down.  Most of all, it means loving them and being whatever they nee...

So I entered National Novel Writing Month - where you are supposed to create a 175 pg, 50, 000 word novel in the month of November.   I started out pretty good, whipped out my first 1000 words in one evening.  Thought I could probably get there if I spent at least one day a weekend writing.  Sure...no problem. Well - one small problem.  I'm writing, that's not it.  But the story has no form, no plot, no hook.  It's just words!!  I keep writing...waiting for the inspiration to hit...and people keep telling me that I have to just keep writing and not edit and not worry about the rest.  I'm trying!  Really I am.  But so far it feels pretty much like masturbation.  I do it because I have to.  (I mean, I can't not write - and yes I know that's a double negative - see I can't stop editing even here!) I do it because there is some pleasure in releasing all these ideas that have been banging around in my head.  But in the ...

Boy this has been a really random day.  I started off with my yearly appt. with my doctor.  Only it wasn't with my doctor, because my doctor has left the practice where she's been for the past 10 years, which is how long I've been seeing her.  But she doesn't start at her new practice until January...so I had a new doctor at the old practice.  (are you still with me?) So I head out to drive there and there's been a downpour in Portland this morning and people still haven't re-learned how to drive in the rain here and there are accidents everywhere I turn.  I get to the office right on the dot of my appointment time.  There's only me and one other patient in the waiting room, which could be good, could be bad.  Turns out okay...I'm whisked in for my weigh and measure...don't ask me the number it's embarrassing and makes me really mad that in spite of all the shedding I'm doing emotionally, there is still actual dead weight I'm carrying a...

We like choice.  We like the ability to look at the array of garments on a rack, shoes on a display, toothpaste on a shelf, even auto insurance plans - and saying - "Yes...I choose this."   Lately, I've been teaching myself about choice.  That may sound pretty silly.  Obviously I haven't lived this long or done what I've done in my life without making choices.  But I have to say I wasn't really taught how to choose.  It's been sort of hit or miss in my life.  Fortunately, I've had more hits than misses.  My guardian angel has definitely earned her wings.  And I think it's time I gave her a rest. Growing up when I did, where I did with the parents I had, I basically learned two things.  Nice girls always say yes - this gets them loved and appreciated and desired.  And my world as a girl was basically flat - and going to the edge, especially going over the edge, was just not something you did.   Let me explain her...

The Gods have smiled on me.  My birthday party was all that, da bomb, buck, absolutely FABULOUS. To begin with, my darling friend Nancy called as we were setting up.  Considering that she was nursing a broken elbow and looking at surgery the next day, I was honored that she thought to call me at all.  My cupcakes from Lisa Madrid were adorable and yummy.  Contact me if you want her info.  They were proclaimed by my daughter Jennifer to be "the best she has ever had." (Picture is of a painting by Erika Lee Sears who introduced me to Lisa and yes the cupcakes looked just like that) Jennifer and her husband were there.  Not a big deal for a daughter, you say?  Well, considering that she is actually my step-daughter and her father and I haven't been together for 5 years, yeah it was.  He was there, too.  My ex.  See?  It is possible to be friends with your ex. Then people began to flow in too fast for me to catch everyone....