Skip to main content

Is it too much too ask???

One of my favorite songs is Lucinda Williams' Passionate Kisses. In it she asks, "Is it too much to ask? I want a comfortable bed that won't hurt my back? Food to fill me up and warm clothes and all that stuff. Shouldn't I have this?...."

Lately I'm in a "Shouldn't I have??" place. All my socks have holes. All my underwear has no more elastic and my bras don't fit. My towels don't adsorb anymore. My car needs a detail wash, not just a drive-thru. I find myself wondering why I don't have it. Why am I settling for less than I deserve? Why am I settling for less than I settled for? Is it just too much to ask?

I know I'm really lucky. I have a good job and my benefits are much better than many people. I have wonderful friends who love me and support me. I have a daughter who is smarter, prettier, more capable, more loved and respected than I could ever have wished for. And she loves me, too. I can and do take care of myself. I'm emotionally, financially and physically independent. I love my home. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my cat, even when he continues to wake me up at 4:30 in the morning. I love my car and my walks to work. I love my wine and my whiskey and my computer. I love my blog and my facebook and my email and my Iphone. I love sun and flowers and coffee and good hand lotion.

But is it too much to ask? Shouldn't I have this...shouldn't I have all of this and new undies and fluffy towels and a clean car and passionate kisses.

Comments

Sara Moriarty said…
i understand that this was intended to be a rhetorical question but YES YES YES. Can't wait to see you Saturday!
April 30, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Bridgete said…
Of course you should.

Love you.
April 30, 2009 at 6:01 PM
Chris Dashiell said…
You should be adored.
May 1, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Bert said…
Yes, yes, yes and YES !

Love you.
May 2, 2009 at 10:21 AM
disabled account said…
you settle because you're too busy focusing on the needs of those around you and you have forgotten about yourself.

get to it, love. you know you deserve it.
May 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If you find yourself in the dark, all you can do is sit until your eyes adjust to the blackness.  I don't know who said that, but I sure do feel that way these days. Here's a little bit about me.  I was the seventh child born to my mother and father - and the last.  I was 7 years younger than the youngest and 19 years younger than the eldest.  My mother, who grew up in a family of actors, had started a little theatre group in our home town and after being away from it for so many years, she wasn't about to give it up again.  So I grew up in the theatre.  Played in make-up rooms and costume shops.  Learned how to read by helping actors study lines.  Learned how to build and paint by helping my dad build sets.  And I loved all of it. I loved the stories and the people and the way everyone came together to express ideas.  I still love it.  It's why I studied theatre in college and why I pursued an MFA.  Nothing gives me as much pleasure as taking words from a page and
Post a Comment
Read more

It just sucks...

You want to know what the worst part about moderate to severe depression? (using the clinical diagnosis here) It's knowing when those waves hit you that there is something or someone out there that you let get to you. In my case, it's usually a combination of things. I've got multiple projects coming to deadline at work - stress. I'm not sleeping very well because of allergies. I'm not eating like I should be. I'm getting my exercise - walking, yoga - which is a positive because that's usually the first thing to go. And so I'm vulnerable to those triggers and I know it. I avoid mr. ring on his finger 'cause that will just send me over the edge. But I can't keep him from coming onto my floor and sitting down at the cubicle next to me and talking to someone else. So I put on the headphones and hit play on Itunes and what do I get....love songs. Crap. And even he wouldn't get to me if the really big trigger hadn't been flipped jus
6 comments
Read more

Random Thoughts

Dammit...it's one of those days again. Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's that I still haven't completely recovered from my horrible bout of food poisoning. Maybe it's just that I'm completely f*cked. Gray - and not just the skies. Gray everywhere. One of my favorite Dave Matthews Band songs is Gray Street. Maybe favorite isn't the right word - most fitting for me and how I feel sometimes. She thinks, "Hey, How did I come to this? I dream myself a thousand times around the world, But I can't get out of this place" There's an emptiness inside her And she'd do anything to fill it in But all the colors mix together - to gray And it breaks her heart There's nothing I can point to, no trigger that has turned this feeling on.  I'm completely vulnerable and burst into tears over the smallest things.  Good and bad.  Someone can tell me I'm looking good today, and I'll cry.  Then the next person can walk p
5 comments
Read more