So far, 2011 has sucked. I mean really sucked. I can see the end in sight and I'm encouraged by little indications that things are getting better. I'm not going to let this get to me either. Going boldly forward in faith and hope.
January is typically a tough month for me anyway. I'm the budget coordinator for my division at work and our fiscal years run from July to June. So January means I have to check where we are for the current year and start projecting for the coming year. It take a couple of weeks and lots of spreadsheets for me to catch up with everyone, find out what's changed and what's coming down the pike. The result of my work means that our CTO can make some informed decisions about spending for the current year and make solid predictions of where we need to invest.
This year, to complicate matters, I came down with a terrible cold. I'm still coughing a full 4 weeks later. It's one of those awful coughs that settles right in your chest and you constantly feel like you need to swallow, but you can't because there's nothing there to swallow. So you start coughing and it feels like your lungs are about to burst out of your body. Between one thing and another, I missed a few days of work, but mostly I just worked my normal schedule and went home to fall asleep on the couch. Sleep has been fitful - a few hours at a time with very few full nights of sleep. I'm looking forward to a real good sleep.
Then there's my car. I have a 1999 Nissan Sentra XE, black, 5-speed manual transmission. It has just over 85,000 miles on it and I don't put more than a couple thousand miles on it a year. I live near my job and walk or use transit most of the time. On weekends, I run my errands around town. Occasionally, I'll drive to the coast or out to visit my sister or just go for a drive. Gas prices have limited my pleasure driving somewhat. Anyway, my clutch has been making overtures of unhappiness for some time. I was going to get it looked at as soon as I had gotten my tax refund. But the car had other ideas. On a rainy Saturday two weeks ago, as I was out doing my errands and grocery shopping, the clutch just gave out. I managed to baby it home. I'm fortunate to live across the street from a AAA approved auto shop and I took it to them explaining my financial constraints and concerns. The new clutch was 600.00. Just about all the money I had. The irony is that my registration is due at the end of the month...and I don't have the money to pay it. So I'll be illegal for a couple of days until my next payday rolls around.
Today my Facebook account got spammed with a virus. All day long people have been calling, emailing, texting, letting me know that this has happened and I need to change my passwords right away. Of course, I've already done that. What I find frustrating is that anyone would really think the posting is from me. There's a misspelling in it people! I may be a little lazy in my grammar from time to time, but spelling?? No way.
But this year is about me taking small, thoughtful steps toward a happier me. So I'm not letting the universe get me down. I'm still here. My friends still love me. My work is still gratifying. And my goals are clearer with each passing day.
I'm going to be healthier, happier, more satisfied spiritually, more creative, more open to love and I'm going back to Paris. Maybe not this year. But soon. And for a real long time. And you can help me. One of my goals is to write here at least once a week. So if you don't hear from me by next Friday, feel free to send me a reminder. 2011, I'm here...and I'm staying.