I couldn't sleep last night. Not an unusual thing these days. There's a lot on my mind. But last night I was thinking about social media and how it has changed our world. How it changed my world.
About 25 years ago, I was working on my thesis in grad school. We had a Mac in our home which was not uncommon, but certainly not as common as it is today. I was introduced to the academic world via Bulletin Boards, User Groups, and the ever popular ListServ. For those of you too young to know, these were email lists you subscribed to and every day you would get individual emails from people on the list discussing whatever it was you wanted to discuss. There were listservs for science and research, literature, children, whatever you loved so much you wanted to talk about it with complete strangers. My choice was movies.
I love movies. I've loved them my whole life. I would sneak out of my bed and watch the late show on weekends. I went to the matinee every Saturday. I begged my parents to take me with them when they went out. In college, I went to the local cinema that showed double feature of all the movies I'd read about and never seen. My best friend worked for the museum film center and got me in to the film festivals and foreign films. We went to midnight showings of cult films.
Then when I was a young parent, my husband and I bought a VCR. My daughter and I were regulars at the local video store, multiple visits every week. Then there was cable - AMC and Turner Classic Movies. It was like I'd died and gone to heaven.
Enter Cin-L, a listserv for movie lovers of all shapes and sizes. It didn't take long for me to find the few members whose emails were the ones to read first, which ones were keepers, which ones I could skip right over. Slowly, a group of us emerged from the mob. We were serious about our movie love. We wanted to talk about everything in the movie. The directing, the script, the art direction, the sound. Our serious discussions were being drowned out by the masses. So we broke off into our own groups.
Over time, this group became my tribe - my family of choice. And like any family, we had our fights and our disagreements. People left, new people came in. Yet we held together. We celebrated marriages and children. We encouraged one another and cheered the new job, the achievements, the new house. We mourned with each other when loss happened - death, divorce, illness. Our bond of celluloid became a web of threads around the world. I've had the pleasure to meet many of these people in real life - IRL. They are dear friends to me, but those I have never meet are no less dear to me.
When the listserv began to go the way of the dinosaur, we moved our group on to Facebook. Most of were a presence on there anyway and were 'friends' with each other. It's one of 4 groups I belong to on Facebook. I treasure these friends and cannot imagine my life without them.
Lately, some of my friends have been leaving Facebook, concerned over privacy issues and whatnot. But I'm still here. I've rediscovered so many people I thought I had lost forever. I've made friends who make my life richer and fuller.
I didn't go on Facebook to gather "likes" or "friends". I didn't go looking for love or validation. I just went to see what I could learn. And what I found was humanity. People who, just like me, are looking for what else is possible. People who delight in achievements of their fellow human beings and mourn when humanity's cruel face is revealed.
My friends are more than clicks on a screen; they are part of my DNA. They are as much a part of my day as breathing, eating, sleeping.
And so my friends, if you find you must move on from Facebook, I'll be here if you ever want to come back. Or if you find a better place for us to gather, please don't forget to ask me to join you. You're a part of me now and forever.
I love you - you beautiful, remarkable, human, being.
ps - and don't forget the cat videos. Must have the cats.
About 25 years ago, I was working on my thesis in grad school. We had a Mac in our home which was not uncommon, but certainly not as common as it is today. I was introduced to the academic world via Bulletin Boards, User Groups, and the ever popular ListServ. For those of you too young to know, these were email lists you subscribed to and every day you would get individual emails from people on the list discussing whatever it was you wanted to discuss. There were listservs for science and research, literature, children, whatever you loved so much you wanted to talk about it with complete strangers. My choice was movies.
I love movies. I've loved them my whole life. I would sneak out of my bed and watch the late show on weekends. I went to the matinee every Saturday. I begged my parents to take me with them when they went out. In college, I went to the local cinema that showed double feature of all the movies I'd read about and never seen. My best friend worked for the museum film center and got me in to the film festivals and foreign films. We went to midnight showings of cult films.
Then when I was a young parent, my husband and I bought a VCR. My daughter and I were regulars at the local video store, multiple visits every week. Then there was cable - AMC and Turner Classic Movies. It was like I'd died and gone to heaven.
Enter Cin-L, a listserv for movie lovers of all shapes and sizes. It didn't take long for me to find the few members whose emails were the ones to read first, which ones were keepers, which ones I could skip right over. Slowly, a group of us emerged from the mob. We were serious about our movie love. We wanted to talk about everything in the movie. The directing, the script, the art direction, the sound. Our serious discussions were being drowned out by the masses. So we broke off into our own groups.
Over time, this group became my tribe - my family of choice. And like any family, we had our fights and our disagreements. People left, new people came in. Yet we held together. We celebrated marriages and children. We encouraged one another and cheered the new job, the achievements, the new house. We mourned with each other when loss happened - death, divorce, illness. Our bond of celluloid became a web of threads around the world. I've had the pleasure to meet many of these people in real life - IRL. They are dear friends to me, but those I have never meet are no less dear to me.
When the listserv began to go the way of the dinosaur, we moved our group on to Facebook. Most of were a presence on there anyway and were 'friends' with each other. It's one of 4 groups I belong to on Facebook. I treasure these friends and cannot imagine my life without them.
Lately, some of my friends have been leaving Facebook, concerned over privacy issues and whatnot. But I'm still here. I've rediscovered so many people I thought I had lost forever. I've made friends who make my life richer and fuller.
I didn't go on Facebook to gather "likes" or "friends". I didn't go looking for love or validation. I just went to see what I could learn. And what I found was humanity. People who, just like me, are looking for what else is possible. People who delight in achievements of their fellow human beings and mourn when humanity's cruel face is revealed.
My friends are more than clicks on a screen; they are part of my DNA. They are as much a part of my day as breathing, eating, sleeping.
And so my friends, if you find you must move on from Facebook, I'll be here if you ever want to come back. Or if you find a better place for us to gather, please don't forget to ask me to join you. You're a part of me now and forever.
I love you - you beautiful, remarkable, human, being.
ps - and don't forget the cat videos. Must have the cats.
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