Skip to main content

Popular posts from this blog

If you find yourself in the dark, all you can do is sit until your eyes adjust to the blackness.  I don't know who said that, but I sure do feel that way these days. Here's a little bit about me.  I was the seventh child born to my mother and father - and the last.  I was 7 years younger than the youngest and 19 years younger than the eldest.  My mother, who grew up in a family of actors, had started a little theatre group in our home town and after being away from it for so many years, she wasn't about to give it up again.  So I grew up in the theatre.  Played in make-up rooms and costume shops.  Learned how to read by helping actors study lines.  Learned how to build and paint by helping my dad build sets.  And I loved all of it. I loved the stories and the people and the way everyone came together to express ideas.  I still love it.  It's why I studied theatre in college and why I pursued an MFA.  Nothing gives me as much pleasure as taking words from a page and

It just sucks...

You want to know what the worst part about moderate to severe depression? (using the clinical diagnosis here) It's knowing when those waves hit you that there is something or someone out there that you let get to you. In my case, it's usually a combination of things. I've got multiple projects coming to deadline at work - stress. I'm not sleeping very well because of allergies. I'm not eating like I should be. I'm getting my exercise - walking, yoga - which is a positive because that's usually the first thing to go. And so I'm vulnerable to those triggers and I know it. I avoid mr. ring on his finger 'cause that will just send me over the edge. But I can't keep him from coming onto my floor and sitting down at the cubicle next to me and talking to someone else. So I put on the headphones and hit play on Itunes and what do I get....love songs. Crap. And even he wouldn't get to me if the really big trigger hadn't been flipped jus

Random Thoughts

Dammit...it's one of those days again. Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's that I still haven't completely recovered from my horrible bout of food poisoning. Maybe it's just that I'm completely f*cked. Gray - and not just the skies. Gray everywhere. One of my favorite Dave Matthews Band songs is Gray Street. Maybe favorite isn't the right word - most fitting for me and how I feel sometimes. She thinks, "Hey, How did I come to this? I dream myself a thousand times around the world, But I can't get out of this place" There's an emptiness inside her And she'd do anything to fill it in But all the colors mix together - to gray And it breaks her heart There's nothing I can point to, no trigger that has turned this feeling on.  I'm completely vulnerable and burst into tears over the smallest things.  Good and bad.  Someone can tell me I'm looking good today, and I'll cry.  Then the next person can walk p