It's hot. I don't say that very often. See I have a sluggish thyroid and I'm usually cold. So if I'm sitting here at 9:30 at night with a fan blowing and I'm still sweating...it's hot. I feel bad that it's hot because my daughter has been complaining about the lack of sunshine in Boston. Not that I can do anything about it - but still. I feel bad.
I started sending cards to my mother this week. She's in a foster home now and they are trying to get her to start eating and taking her meds and doing her physical therapy. But I think she's truly lost the will to live now. This is really hard for me. Whatever else has passed between us, whatever narcissistic parenting she practiced, she's still my mother. And she's dying. I can't go visit her. I don't have the money or the time. So I hope she'll still be there in the fall and I hope to be able to take a weekend and visit her. In the meantime, I'll send her a card or note every week and let her know that she is still in my heart.
I'm tremendously frustrated by the political picture in this country. I voted for President Obama because I wanted change. I needed change. I want leadership that stands up to all the bullshit herding and finger pointing and name calling and just says - NO. I understand that you want to represent everyone and you want to be the president to everyone. But there are those out there who will never accept you as their president. They call you the teleprompter president like their own Bush and Reagan's never prepared speeches and read them to you. I'm just frustrated and even scared that the herd will follow someone like Sarah Palin "who talks like we do" and then we are really screwed. God help us.
I want him to lead...audaciously lead and stop the fear mongering and hate out there. Just lead.
I'm really cranky tonight. Hot and have a kidney infection and the damn Cipro makes my joints hurt and I can't drink enough and....just...blah.