Skip to main content

Random Thought Process Thurs...oh hell with it....

It's hot. I don't say that very often. See I have a sluggish thyroid and I'm usually cold. So if I'm sitting here at 9:30 at night with a fan blowing and I'm still sweating...it's hot. I feel bad that it's hot because my daughter has been complaining about the lack of sunshine in Boston. Not that I can do anything about it - but still. I feel bad.

I started sending cards to my mother this week. She's in a foster home now and they are trying to get her to start eating and taking her meds and doing her physical therapy. But I think she's truly lost the will to live now. This is really hard for me. Whatever else has passed between us, whatever narcissistic parenting she practiced, she's still my mother. And she's dying. I can't go visit her. I don't have the money or the time. So I hope she'll still be there in the fall and I hope to be able to take a weekend and visit her. In the meantime, I'll send her a card or note every week and let her know that she is still in my heart.

I'm tremendously frustrated by the political picture in this country. I voted for President Obama because I wanted change. I needed change. I want leadership that stands up to all the bullshit herding and finger pointing and name calling and just says - NO. I understand that you want to represent everyone and you want to be the president to everyone. But there are those out there who will never accept you as their president. They call you the teleprompter president like their own Bush and Reagan's never prepared speeches and read them to you. I'm just frustrated and even scared that the herd will follow someone like Sarah Palin "who talks like we do" and then we are really screwed. God help us.

I want him to lead...audaciously lead and stop the fear mongering and hate out there. Just lead.

I'm really cranky tonight. Hot and have a kidney infection and the damn Cipro makes my joints hurt and I can't drink enough and....just...blah.

Comments

CSD Faux Finishing said…
You so totally need a big old HUG!!! Well I am sending one to you right now. in fact, here are three
HUG
HUG
HUG

Actually that's 4 right? So sorry to hear about your mom, what a sucky thing. how far is she from where you are? Life sometimes gets in the way. Feel better soon too, its not fair to feel yucky when its warm and summerry. Summer is for awesomeness, not yucky body in oppressive heat (although I'd be loving your weather, the hotter & more humid the better for me, I completely understand that makes me a total freak and I'm OK with that lol)

Oh ok, one more for good measure
HUG!!!!
July 4, 2009 at 9:01 AM
Bridgete said…
I'm with Jenn.

HUG
HUG
HUG
HUG
HUG
HUG
HUG

Love you. <3
July 4, 2009 at 9:41 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Good Man

Roger M Watt - April 8, 1914 - March 27, 1981 My father was a good man.  He was born in Oklahoma 98 years ago today.  He grew up during the First World War and the economic boom of the 20s.  When the bust happened, he moved to Los Angeles with his family.  In 1934, he met my mother at a Halloween Party.  He was 20, she was 15, and he was in love for life.  The raven haired, dark eyed beauty won his heart and his devotion. When my mother became bedridden with tuberculosis, he visited her every day, bringing her books from the library and news of the world.  They married on Father's Day in 1939.  During the final years of the Second World War, my father was drafted into military service and left my mother with her parents - pregnant with their third child and my brother Jim and sister Judie.  He contracted malaria in the Philippines and spent most of his service in a hospital in Hawaii.  On March 27, 1946 my parents and their three chi...
2 comments
Read more

New Beginnings - or is it starting over?

Almost immediately after I posted my last blog, my car broke down again.  I stepped on the clutch pedal and "SNAP", just like the last time.  Only this time, the pedal did not come back up.  It was stuck to the floor and I was unable to shift at all.  Fortunately, it happened right outside my apartment and the repair shop is at the gas station across the street.  So I pushed it in and called them the next day to tell them what happened. They called me a little later to tell me that this time was the clutch cable and not anything that they fixed in January.  So it wasn't covered by warranty and I would now have to pay another 130.00. I set the thought aside because I was leaving for a weekend trip with friends to attend the wedding of two other friends.  Lori and BC have been together for a couple of years.  And they are so perfect together.  I knew Lori only briefly before she started dating BC, so I had nothing to compare it too.  But ...
4 comments
Read more

It just sucks...

You want to know what the worst part about moderate to severe depression? (using the clinical diagnosis here) It's knowing when those waves hit you that there is something or someone out there that you let get to you. In my case, it's usually a combination of things. I've got multiple projects coming to deadline at work - stress. I'm not sleeping very well because of allergies. I'm not eating like I should be. I'm getting my exercise - walking, yoga - which is a positive because that's usually the first thing to go. And so I'm vulnerable to those triggers and I know it. I avoid mr. ring on his finger 'cause that will just send me over the edge. But I can't keep him from coming onto my floor and sitting down at the cubicle next to me and talking to someone else. So I put on the headphones and hit play on Itunes and what do I get....love songs. Crap. And even he wouldn't get to me if the really big trigger hadn't been flipped jus...
6 comments
Read more