View from the Couch

Boy this has been a really random day.  I started off with my yearly appt. with my doctor.  Only it wasn't with my doctor, because my doctor has left the practice where she's been for the past 10 years, which is how long I've been seeing her.  But she doesn't start at her new practice until January...so I had a new doctor at the old practice.  (are you still with me?) So I head out to drive there and there's been a downpour in Portland this morning and people still haven't re-learned how to drive in the rain here and there are accidents everywhere I turn.  I get to the office right on the dot of my appointment time.  There's only me and one other patient in the waiting room, which could be good, could be bad.  Turns out okay...I'm whisked in for my weigh and measure...don't ask me the number it's embarrassing and makes me really mad that in spite of all the shedding I'm doing emotionally, there is still actual dead weight I'm carrying a

We like choice.  We like the ability to look at the array of garments on a rack, shoes on a display, toothpaste on a shelf, even auto insurance plans - and saying - "Yes...I choose this."   Lately, I've been teaching myself about choice.  That may sound pretty silly.  Obviously I haven't lived this long or done what I've done in my life without making choices.  But I have to say I wasn't really taught how to choose.  It's been sort of hit or miss in my life.  Fortunately, I've had more hits than misses.  My guardian angel has definitely earned her wings.  And I think it's time I gave her a rest. Growing up when I did, where I did with the parents I had, I basically learned two things.  Nice girls always say yes - this gets them loved and appreciated and desired.  And my world as a girl was basically flat - and going to the edge, especially going over the edge, was just not something you did.   Let me explain here.  When I say that nice girls

The Gods have smiled on me.  My birthday party was all that, da bomb, buck, absolutely FABULOUS. To begin with, my darling friend Nancy called as we were setting up.  Considering that she was nursing a broken elbow and looking at surgery the next day, I was honored that she thought to call me at all.  My cupcakes from Lisa Madrid were adorable and yummy.  Contact me if you want her info.  They were proclaimed by my daughter Jennifer to be "the best she has ever had." (Picture is of a painting by Erika Lee Sears who introduced me to Lisa and yes the cupcakes looked just like that) Jennifer and her husband were there.  Not a big deal for a daughter, you say?  Well, considering that she is actually my step-daughter and her father and I haven't been together for 5 years, yeah it was.  He was there, too.  My ex.  See?  It is possible to be friends with your ex. Then people began to flow in too fast for me to catch everyone.  When a woman came in looking vaguely famili