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I tried something new tonight. I was looking for a way to meet new people and do something I enjoy and am pretty good at. I went to a pub quiz. I knew there would be things I would know for certain - like - What is Ophelia's relationship to Polonius? Things that I might know or could make a good guess at - like - In what movie do the Beatles sing If I Fell... ? And things I wouldn't know no matter how my brain tried - like - What is the lowest weight class in boxing?

My first clue that this wasn't my night? The pub quiz was in a gay bar. No problem for me. I was the prettiest woman in the bar. In fact I was the only woman in the bar - even once the quiz started.

Next clue - the teams were all set and the group I was supposed to be meeting wasn't showing up. So I signed up to be my own team. I had my glass of Johnny Walker Red - I'd paid my 3.00. And there wasn't any reason to head out into the cold, rainy night and go back home. Beside, I wanted to see what kind of questions this pub quiz stuff would really have.

I did okay. I held my own in there. I took 2nd place. I even won one round by one question. I wasn't even really trying that hard. Didn't figure I had a chance all by myself.

I'm trying to think of this with humor. It took a team of 6 gay men to beat me. And they had to work hard to keep up. I nearly beat them - if I had bet all my points in the final round, I would have won it all. But it's the story of my life. Even in a room full of men, I can't find one who can keep up with me. 6 of them - to edge me out. And I know if I go back next week - they'll be happy to see me. We'll laugh and joke about it. Me and my admiring men. All of them telling me how fabulous I am and how I'll make some lucky man so happy and loved and if they were straight (or single or younger or older or richer or poorer or better) they would be proud to be with me.

And yet...

"I don't have a point to prove or a stand to make
I'm just trying to find my way
And a face to wear and a place to be
In the absence of your company"
Kim Richey


Bridgete said…
In my opinion, gay men are the best people for telling you that you're fabulous...because they don't say you're fabulous if you're not fabulous. The "if I were straight" thing...that can be harder to live with (i.e., James telling me if he were straight he would be moving to Boston too...sigh...) but, try to look at it as something to add to the list of reasons for why you're fabulous. So fabulous even gay men want to be with you. And don't worry about how many men it takes to keep up with your intelligence. Intelligence is sexy. Or, at least, that's what I have to tell myself if I want to maintain my own sanity. =) Love you.

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