Sunday, March 22, 2009

They called it a near miss

I started a writing class this week. It's online which means I can go to school in my pajamas. I always wanted to do that. :) And it means I can share my writing and get feedback from a wider audience than previously. The following is my first assignment. I had to take a phrase, write a narrative, with some dialogue and have a twist at the end. All this was to be written in 5 minutes and be about 300 words long. I think mine is about 330. I hope you like it.

They called it a near miss, but I called it Daddy. Playing in my bedroom, I heard his tires on the long, gravel driveway and my mind focused. Jumping up on the bed to see out the high window, I watched and watched for his car to reach the end of the driveway. Engine off, I jumped down and ran for the backdoor.
Racing through the kitchen, my mother, damp tendrils around her face, wiped her hands on her apron and called after me, "Don't jump on your father. He's had a hard day." But nothing could break my stride now. I hit the screen door open and turned right.
The porch ran the length of the house; no rail, a wide open platform four feet off the ground. Timing was everything. Too fast - I'd have to wait. Too slow - I'd wrap around his legs. But not today.
My feet hit the end of the porch and I jumped. "Daddy!" I flew the air, sun glinting off his glasses, wind in my hair, and just when I thought he might miss, his arms enfolded me.
"Uff." he grunted. "You've got to stop doing that. One day I won't be able to catch you."
"Oh, daddy. " I laughed and kissed his sunburned cheek. As I nuzzled down against his shoulder, I worried for just a moment. Why wouldn't Daddy want to catch me?

In the dark, arms grabbed me, a hand over my mouth, and as my head hit the ground and blackness descended, I jumped and called out, "Daddy!"

4 comments:

Bert said...

Great KC , I love it . You were born to write!!

Sara Moriarty-delaFuente said...

Love this. And don't forget about your little assignment. Another 300 words perhaps. I just have to know where this is going.

You did your job as a writer in five minutes. Well done.

I'm wondering why it is titled "They called it a near miss." (not sure about quotation mark/period placement there) Who are "they" and why include that in the title? I know you had a reason. (And please don't make me wait until Saturday. You know I am impatient...)

*loves*

Suzanne said...

KC - nice to see it typed out-can't wait to see or hear where it goes next. I'll keep checking in:)
Hugs Darlin!
Suzy

KC McAuley said...

Thanks everyone. It's so hard for me to put my art self out there like this, it's really great to get such positive feedback. And to know that you want more!

Sara, the title came from the assignment. That was the line I had to work with. I suppose as it develops, we might learn who "they" are.