View from the Couch

Almost immediately after I posted my last blog, my car broke down again.  I stepped on the clutch pedal and "SNAP", just like the last time.  Only this time, the pedal did not come back up.  It was stuck to the floor and I was unable to shift at all.  Fortunately, it happened right outside my apartment and the repair shop is at the gas station across the street.  So I pushed it in and called them the next day to tell them what happened. They called me a little later to tell me that this time was the clutch cable and not anything that they fixed in January.  So it wasn't covered by warranty and I would now have to pay another 130.00. I set the thought aside because I was leaving for a weekend trip with friends to attend the wedding of two other friends.  Lori and BC have been together for a couple of years.  And they are so perfect together.  I knew Lori only briefly before she started dating BC, so I had nothing to compare it too.  But ...

Sunday was the end of Lent and the beginning of Holy Week.  I had a lovely white Bordeaux last night with some extra sharp Cheddar cheese and it was quite lovely.  I made it through the 40 days and here I am. Am I different?  Maybe.  I know that I am feeling the need to comment on certain things...things I usually close my mouth about and trust that people who know better than I do will do the right thing. My country is in a mess.  Our government is divisive and would rather engage in pointing fingers at the other side than getting serious and really trying to fix things. People are so overwhelmed with information that they can't be sure who is telling the truth or what will help.  Every paycheck I have less and less discretionary money as the basics in my world are costing more and more. I work for a quasi government agency, so the general public thinks I'm overpaid and have better benefits than they do.  I may have better benefits, I will give them...

I can't believe my 40 days are nearly over.  My wine merchant is so glad to know I'll be back soon.  Actually, not too soon.  I have 6 beautiful wines that she has picked out for me just waiting to be sipped and savored.  It's been a very interesting week.  After my family weekend, there has been a lot of family activity.  It all started because my oldest brother Jim wanted one of us girls to do a mtDNA test.  He and my sister Nancy have some notion that there is a Native American Indian somewhere in the family blood line.  They are a bit disappointed that I am only finding English and German ancestry.  So I have sent for a kit and will be testing.  I don't expect to find anything terribly surprising - but if there is one thing I've learned with my family history work it's that there are plenty of surprises. Last week on NBC's WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?, Ashley Judd found out that she was related to one of the original Mayflower Pilgrim...

I know I’ve missed a few days – okay more than a few.   But I have a perfectly good reason.   My sisters were in town!   My sisters Judie and Nancy are 15 and 13 years older than I am, respectively.   Judie and I developed our relationship as adults because she had moved out to college, marriage, real life, by the time I was a person with thoughts and vocabulary.   Nancy was a surrogate mother to me.   I went on her dates with her and when she got married, I spent most of my school vacations and weekends with her and her family.   Her daughter Nancy is only 5 years younger than I am.   That’s a smaller gap than there is between myself and any of my siblings. Anyway – Nancy drove up from Southern Oregon with her daughter Nikki and our brother’s daughter Maggie.   Judie drove in from McMinnville and we spent Thursday night and all of Friday together – eating, talking, laughing – lots of laughing.   My niece Nikki has a great wit and a w...

Yesterday was another fasting day for me.  This was a tougher one because I was more physically active yesterday than I am on the average work day.  First of all, when I was ready to go to work, the sun was up and the sky was light and it wasn't raining.  So for the first time in a long time, I walked the mile from my apartment to my workplace.  That felt great.  I miss my walks in the winter.  It's not that I'm a fair weather walker - but I have to cross Highway 99 on my walk to work.  And even with reflective wear, I've nearly been hit in the dark winter mornings.  So I have to settle for a bus ride.  I'm thrilled to know that spring may at last be pushing in and I can start walking again. I was teaching yesterday - one of my favorite things at my job.  I wasn't hired to do this, but I developed this curriculum for the agency because bus drivers and mechanics and rail operators can't advance in the agency without some basic computer s...

So I almost made it to Saturday morning.  Technically - I did make it.  But I was taking out the garbage on Friday evening and I had one very ripe banana left.  I had to choose - toss out the banana or eat it.  I ate it.  And it was the best tasting banana I've ever had!  It was sweet and wonderful and even though I felt very guilty - I knew God would understand. Saturday morning's breakfast was terrific.  I love my Saturday group.  They are such a wonderful group of ladies and I always enjoy my time with them.  The food was so tasty and satisfying as well.  I didn't overeat and felt perfectly sated with the amount of food I had. The rest of my weekend was kind of up and down.  My temper was pretty edgy, probably a hang on from being hungry.  It's rather difficult to be balanced emotionally when you're hungry.  And your brain doesn't work too well either. So the upshot is, I spent a lot of time in reflection, both du...

So I've been without food since Wednesday evening.  Last thing I ate was a Caesar Salad at Pub Quiz.  It's about 45 hours later and I can almost taste that salad.  I'm so hungry.  Yesterday was much easier.  I drank tea and water and some juice last night, but I didn't really feel hungry until this morning.  I was actually a little uncomfortable this morning and my coffee made me a little sick.  So I switched to tea and that has been it. I was smelling everyone's lunch today.  Usually I don't notice when other people are eating around me in cubeland.  But I was very aware today.  Even now, I can hear someone munching on cookies or chips or something - and I want to go steal one. Has this been successful in a spiritual sense then?  I think so.  I'm very tuned in to myself right now - to how I'm feeling, what I'm hearing, smelling, seeing.  It's a very heightened experience.  I wonder how this will feel tonight - wh...